Birth as a Rite of Passage

Birth is a life changing powerful event that permanently changes a woman forever. It’s a rite of passage. Every woman should be empowered by her birth experience, and that is why I became a doula. I want to sit and listen to a mother’s ideas about how she wants to birth, and I want to help her achieve the birth of her dreams. Even if it doesn’t turn out exactly how she wanted, I want her to come away knowing she was empowered, educated, and had complete control over her birth.


Please forgive me if I get a little emotional here. I love birth. I love being present with moms who give birth. And when I am with a mom giving birth in a hospital, I feel so sad for the way that birth has become in America. I honestly feel that we, collectively as a society, have forgotten that birth is a natural event. Even the pain can be honored. Isn’t there a saying that what doesn’t break you makes you stronger? That’s what we’ve forgotten here in America.

My midwife told me to study up on Robbie Davis Floyd. You should too. She is a cultural anthropologist who studies the way we give birth. The symbolism she gives for American birth compared to other cultures is really eye opening. When I first considered her research and wonderings about how doctors and hospitals perform rituals during the birth rite of passage it all became clear to me. I was engrained with beliefs and values about birth that I didn’t even know I had.

Maybe some women need these rituals during their first rite of passage into motherhood. Maybe we’ve become so entreched with the idea that a hospital is the normal, safe place to birth that we must have these things in order to feel that we have arrived on the other side. Maybe we need the comfort of going to the hospital when we are in labor, wheeled back to labor and delivery like we are sick; poked, prodded, checked for every thing wrong. Maybe we think we are. We aren’t allowed to eat or drink in the event of surgery. Maybe we like the glamour and excitement that comes with being in a hospital.

I know I definitely felt like this when I gave birth to my first child. I then fleetingly considered a home birth, but was told by many people that it was completely unsafe for my first birth. Looking back, I kick myself. I gave in to the rituals that made my birth turn into a train wreck. It was completely unsafe for me to go to the hospital and trust that they had my best interests at heart.

Thankfully, even though my second birth was another hospital birth, I was completely in control. My next birth will be the birth of my dreams, coming full circle back to the home birth I wanted with my first.

What scares you about birth? Being in pain? Being out of control? Saying or doing something that you would regret? Dying? Your baby dying? I encourage you to explore these ideas and take them where they will go. You might be surprised at what you discover about yourself.